Will My Child Ever Talk? Hope and Support for Parents of Nonverbal Children

So many times I have sat through an IEP meeting where everything is presented, goals are set, and right when I feel like everything is wrapping up a parent will take a deep breath before asking their final little question, “Will my child ever talk?” 

Such a big question to ask at the end of a meeting but the pattern is similar for almost every family I have ever worked with. The big concern is, will my child talk, and maybe the deeper fear hidden under the question is, will my child be normal? Of course, no speech-language pathologist has a crystal ball that can predict the next 5, 10, or 20 years but I have become more adept at answering with sensitivity, reality, and a good measure of hope. 

If you have no one to ask and you find yourself googling this very question, maybe even in secret, this is written for you. Whether your child has been diagnosed with autism or has other developmental challenges, the uncertainty of remaining nonverbal can be overwhelming. I want to offer hope, information, and support. 

Understanding Nonverbal Communication 

First, it’s important to recognize that “nonverbal” doesn’t mean “non-communicative.” All children who don’t use spoken language communicate in other ways and it is our job as active listeners to try to discover, sync, and connect with those alternative ways. 

● Gestures and body language 

● Facial Expressions 

● Sounds (even non-word sounds) 

Even without attending any formal speech therapy, recognizing and encouraging these forms of communication are valid and important for you and your child to develop a reciprocal relationship and encourage further language development. 

The Potential for Spoken Language: 

Many nonverbal children develop spoken language, even if it happens in an atypical pattern and along an atypical timeline of developmental milestones. 

● Some children with Autism have been found to begin speaking verbally as late as 5 and 7 

● Though rare, some may not start talking even until their teen years 

● A small percentage may remain nonverbal but can often communicate effectively through alternative means

Every child’s journey is unique whether they are verbal or nonverbal. Late talking does not necessarily mean never talking. 

Multiple factors impact a child’s likelihood of developing verbal communication: 

● Early intervention: Research shows that the sooner intervention begins the better whether that is with a trained professional or an intuitive parent beginning the journey. 

● Cognitive abilities: Language and cognition are inseparable on most assessments making cognitive abilities difficult to assess in the absence of language and vice versa. However, higher cognitive ability correlates to higher language outcomes. 

● Joint attention skills: The ability to share focus with a communication partner is crucial for language learning and development. 

● Presence of communication intent: Children who show a desire to communicate with another person, even nonverbally, often have better outcomes. 

Supporting Your Child’s Communication Journey 

● Early Intervention: Find guidance in books, research, and professional organizations if you notice your child is not developing typically. Seek out speech-language pathologists and other specialists to help guide your intervention plan. 

● Encourage all forms of communication: Honor, celebrate, and respond to your child’s attempts to communicate, whether through gestures, sounds, or other means. Help your child to form a positive association when communicating with you. 

● Create a language-rich environment: Narrate your actions, read books together, sing silly songs, and converse with your child as if they were talking. Play imitation games and overall, enjoy spending moments with your child in whatever successful ways you find. 

● Don’t rule out alternative communication methods: Explore picture exchange systems, sign language, and other alternative communication devices. Alternative forms of communication do not hinder spoken language development and create a bridge to develop later skills. 

● Be patient, persistent and accepting. Your child is who they are in this moment with the skills they have. Find ways to cultivate the most moments possible of shared joy and peace. Peace and acceptance are fertile soil for future growth.

A Message of Hope 

In this moment, the future may seem impossible to imagine but remember many parents have seen remarkable progress in their child’s communication skills and their family relationships as time passes. Every step enjoyed between you and your child is a celebration of this life. Remember, the goal is not spoken language but effective communication in whatever form works best for your child. 

You are not alone in this journey. I am here to support you and your child every step of the way. Together, we can unlock your child’s communication potential and help them connect with the world around them. 

If you need support to maximize your child’s potential I encourage you to reach out for a coaching session.